Your complete guide to voicemail perfection, as told in pictures
I want you to shine.

Photo: George Keith (CC)
In order to shine, you must stop tripping over voicemail.

Photo: Ray Bouknight (CC)
We’ve had this technology for some 30 years. Let’s use it to make the best initial impression we can with strangers and friends alike.

Photo: Yorick_R (CC)
Don’t greet people with a cold generic greeting. (I’m still surprised when professionals can’t spare 20 seconds to customize their voicemail service.) Smile, and record a welcoming message.
Don’t let your name be “Mailbox 7046.” Record your name at the correct prompt.

Photo: Roberta Romero (CC)
(You might have to dig through your desk or the Internet to find the voicemail manual for your system. Horror of horrors, having to read to understand technology better.)

Photo: Sean Hobson (CC)
Don’t turn away important messages and potential sales with a full mailbox. Empty it out now.

Photo: Michael Coghlan (CC)
(Or if you want a free alternative, use Google Voice, which does not have voicemail storage limits. This service allows you to forward calls smartly, create custom greetings for different callers and send transcribed messages yo you via texts or email.
Having Google Voice means seeing messages from clients quietly while still in meetings.)

Photo: Google Doodle
Don’t ignore voicemails. It’s unprofessional. Respond in a timely fashion.

Photo: Melissa Gutierrez (CC)
And when calling: Don’t skip leaving a message. Tell me your name, your number and why you called — I promise I’ll always return your call promptly.

Photo: Charlene McBride (CC)
Call your voicemail today. Listen to your greeting. Leave a message. If you have an unpleasant experience, fix it for your callers.

Photo: Seongbin Im (CC)
Shine with good communication, even at the most basic level. Even with plain old voicemail.
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Great advice. I really have the greetings that start, “Hi. You have reached the voice mailbox of [phone number]…” It pains me.
T-Mobile has a voicemail-to-text function/app that I will try eventually.
My favorite voicemail joke from “King of the Hill” is hearing Peggy’s greeting:
“The number you have dialed — (Peggy’s voice) ‘Hi, this is Peggy Hill. I’m not here to answer the phone, but please leave a message’ — is not available.”